Happy 2023! How exciting is it to be in a new year? I mean there are new goals, resolutions, dreams, desires, aspirations...a whole new outlook on life. We many look back at 2022 and think of things we will be doing differently in 2023.
I know for me, I definitely have!. As someone who stays home, because of health reasons, I have sort of been forced to look at things in a very different light. I'm blessed to have such a loving and understanding husband, who supports me in probably a different way than he anticipated.
You see, with my Lupus diagnosis, my body can't do the things that I used to do. I can't do the hard work of my old job, such as table set ups, a lot of walking around, sitting for long periods of time (I used to work events in the hotel industry). My joints and muscles just won't allow me to do it. So, I've had to stop working and sit at home. But, knowing that my income was the the "bread-winner" income, I knew that I couldn't just sit at home. So this last year, I did Lyft for a few hours a day, which sometimes was more than my body could handle, but it brought in some sort of income to help the household bills, as well as Mary Kay. But even with that, my spirit sort of left that or God told me to put it aside for a bit.
I have been in my own head quite frequently over the last few months asking God, "what is it I should be doing? We need to have extra income coming in and I surely can contribute somewhat. We can't live on my husband's income alone." But I didn't get my answer loud and clear. It took a while. He finally gave me one of my favorite scriptures, Psalm 46:10; He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” In my mind, I'm like, God you want me to just be still? How can I be still when we have all of these things that need to be taken care of? How are we to survive and I'm just sitting still?
Even as I am typing this He is speaking to me and letting me know, YOU HAVE TO READ THE ENTIRE VERSE!! ...and know that I am God. Sometimes in our stillness, He is showing us that he is GOD! He is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving, gracious, merciful, Yahweh, Emmanuel, Jehovah Jireh...HE IS JUST GOD! So, no matter what problem we may be going through, be it financial, physical, mental, emotional...HE IS GOD! He wants us to be still and trust in Him. He wants us to be still and rely on Him. He wants us to know that we can leave every worry, doubt, fear, issue...anything in His hands and He will take care of them. He will take care of us!
I love doing devotions and spending time in God's word and in my private time this morning, God brought me to the story of Paul and how he had this "thorn" in his side. See Paul had this thorn or suffering that he had to carry with him. Like anything that can be a nuisance, he was annoyed with it and wanted it gone. But, God decided to leave Paul with this thorn to keep him from something that could be destructive to him and the people he was leading to Christ: pride. As I was reading this devotion, it was like God spoke to me and said, yes, I could take your Lupus away, but I have something big for you and your husband, but you need to carry this burden to keep you from something that could destroy you; pride.
So, for 2023, I'm so excited for what God has for me and my husband. I know it is on the path to something great. But I also know that this Lupus is something that I must carry to keep me grounded and relying on God. Do I think that I can be healed? 100%! But right now, I need to BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD!
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